Sunless
by Dani Stark
Summary: The story of the end - and the beginning - of a life without the sun. For SasuHina Month.


Naruto** and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I own nada, but this plot.**

* * *

**Sunless**

* * *

_I wonder_

_can I carry on_

_with the speed of the world_

_without you in it?"_

_(Tite Kubo in Bleach vol.49 – The Lost Agent)_

* * *

xxx

"I'm taking the kids with me."

No.

This could not be happening.

If it was, then it was the end. She couldn't leave him. She couldn't. He needed her.

Six years of marriage, six happy years and now, suddenly, this?

This could not be happening.

"Why?" he asked.

She sighed. Gently, Uchiha Hinata took her husband's hand on hers, and answered him like an adult would answer a child.

"I can't do this anymore, Sasuke. I... I have been thinking a lot about it and I can't. You are an amazing man, and I really love you, and the family we have..."

"Then stay!" he interrupted, and she glared at him. She didn't like to be interrupted.

"But I can't live like this, Sasuke. I need a husband. And our kids need a father. Not a ruler. Not a clan leader. We can't be a clan if we're not a family first. And I don't want this" she motioned to the two of them, and then to the room around them, "to be like the Hyuga was."

Sasuke looked at the table, defeated. This was not the first time they talked about this. She had always told him about her dream to make the Hyuga a family, and had rejoiced at her sister's first act as the Hyuga head: no more division between houses.

When she married him, she wanted a family. A warm loving family, something she never had.

And what did he want?

_The past._

The power and glory of the old Uchiha clan.

And he knew that was too far from the family she wanted.

"I'll be staying at Kiba-kun's.", she informed, looking at him with a serious expression.

"No!"

"What? Why not?" She shouted, rising from the chair. She didn't like his jealousy either. "You can't be thinking… Sasuke…"

The indignant look on her face said that she was getting really angry at him. Then it hit him what his demeanor implied. He knew Hinata loved him. He felt ashamedfor this. He got silent.

Sasuke couldn't believe this was happening. How could his wife leave him? He knew he was not perfect, but he couldn't imagine this would ever happen to him.

"Will you ever be back?" He asked, after a couple of moments.

"I don't know."

And then she left.

XxxX

_It was the first mission he went as a KonohaJonin. The weather was hot, so hot; he didn't understand why his partner had not dissolved yet. Covered from head to toe, with dark pants and a bulky purple jacket, Hinata had only informed him that their target was a few meters ahead. _

_He remembered her from the academy. He wondered if they ever talked. Probably not. He knew her (she was the Hyuga heir, for Kami's sake, how could one _not_ know her), but she was so meek and nervous. He dismissed her as weak and unimportant._

_And there she was. The leader of his team. _

_A team of two._

_Sasuke was really mad that the Hokage – Naruto – had sent him with this girl. Really. She was so weird. Her face was always red and she spoke in a low (albeit nice) tone, and she was just so _quiet_. Not that quiet was bad. It was very good actually. But her general flustered demeanor and those big, all-seeing eyes of hers sometimes gave him the creeps. Even if her Byakugan was not active, it always seemed that she could look right into him. _

_Urhg._

_The mission was quite simple._

_They were supposed to rescue a noblewoman kidnapped by a band of thugs. Since Hinata was a tracker ninja and he was a fighter, they were sent in this type of missions often. _

_As usual, he created a diversion and fought the mass of their enemies while Hinata got right to their target and led her to safety. And because it was no news for him, he got reckless._

_He didn't notice when one of the guys sidestepped his attack, and went straight for the place where Hinata was taking the woman. He didn't notice that until he heard her cry of surprise, and the desperate yelling of their target. Sasuke quickly finished his opponents, and went to their rescue. _

_It was… bad._

_Hinata had broken a leg. His fault._

_XxX_

_When Sasuke carried her home, he noticed a lot of things about her._

_First, she was incredibly light._

_Judging by her choice of clothing, he thought she might have been a little chubby. But no. Under her oversized clothes she had a slim body that actually didn't match her innocent, beautiful (he'd just noticed that too) face. And her eyes were not _that_ creepy. They were very beautiful, with that faint lilac shade and so gentle. She always looked at him with a kind expression on her face. _

_When they got back, Sasuke had to deal with a very upset Naruto ("How could you let Hinata-chan get hurt, teme!") and an extremely aggressive Kiba, together with a very menacing Shino._

XxxX

Two days without her.

The house was utterly silent, no children playing and laughing and crying, no wife humming happily while cooking.

Just this silent loneliness.

It was hell.

He slept hugging her pillow (as if it was her) and spending the days looking at their photographs, all the happy moments they had shared. The weather was cloudy, depressed and tearful; he wondered if the sky was mocking him, or if it was commiserating with him.

He wanted her back.

XxX

_It was raining and they were running. Sasuke had successfully defeated another enemy, and all that was left to do now was go back._

_The shy decided that that moment was the perfect one to open its dams and pour all of its water on their heads. _

_And it was cold. _

_It didn't take long for them to find a cave (bless Hinata and her Byakugan) and it had taken even less to start a small fire to warm them up. Their outer layer of clothes was drying by the fire, and Sasuke's partner was currently trembling on the floor, asleep._

_He wanted to do something about it. _

_Since the day she had gotten hurt (by his recklessness) he started to feel… things toward her. _

_He liked her shiny hair very much._

_He liked the approving way she looked at him when they completed a mission._

_He liked the way she always smelt of flowers._

_But above all, he liked being around her. She didn't judge him, she didn't look down on him, she didn't make him uncomfortable, and she didn't treat him differently. She gave him a feeling of piece, of completion, of belonging. _

_The storm got wilder._

_Sasuke noticed that Hinata was cold. She was shivering a little. He scooted closer to her, maybe he could shield her from the cold wind coming through the cave entrance. She was still cold._

_Very carefully, he brought her to him, hugging her to his chest. Her long tresses were still a little wet, a darker shade of her natural indigo, almost black. They carried that sweet smell of her, and rain. He ran his fingers to her hair, enjoying the feel of it. It was as soft as it looked. _

_Being close to her was… good. It was actually amazing. He feel her breath hit his neck in soft waves, her body temperature rising as she got warmer. He was, he could admit, a little hypnotized. _

_He didn't notice when her eyes opened, and she stared right at him. He didn't notice her hand moving, until her cold fingertips touch his face. But then, when he did, he was stuck._

_Because her eyes were so warm as they looked at him, her face was so open and gentle. Her petal pink lips open slightly, and she breathed his name._

_He didn't know what made him kiss her at that moment. He just did it. And it was just the right thing to do._

_Her lips were soft, pliant and gentle, just as she was. He could feel her insecurity, and knew that it was her first kiss. It was his first too. _

_He nudged her lips open and his world turned upside down when his tongue met hers. She tasted so good. She tasted like goodness, and innocence. Sweet, just like he _needed_._

XxxX

Sasuke didn't notice he was crying. He didn't notice it started to rain.

One more time, he slept, hugging her pillow. Her scent started to fade.

The next day, Sasuke was going to get his older daughter at the academy. It was something he did every Wednesday, when he wasn't away on mission.

His Hikari was so smart, she was a little genius. Her hair was black like his but she had the soft, lavender eyes of her mother. She was the prodigy of her generation, people said, and he was proud.

"I miss you, Dad." She started, a little shy.

"I miss you too," he said. "Are you enjoying your stay at the Inuzuka's?"

"Yeah. I like Uncle Kiba a lot." Sasuke cringed at that. "But I hate sharing a room with the twins. They make too much noise."

She was silent for a moment, and then…

"When can we be back at home?" The question seemed simple, but both knew he wasn't. Hikari was a genius, and she understood things more than she let on. In many ways, she could be compared to her uncle, Itachi. She knew something was going on with her parents; that something was making them sad.

"I don't know, kid. When your mother feel it's right."

"I hope it's soon."

"Yeah, me too."

XxxX

_He knew it wasn't going to be easy. So, when they decided to tell her father they were dating, he had to be sure of two things: one, the Hyuga clan would never shun Hinata, no matter what happened, and two, he would do anything, _anything_, to prove himself worthy of her._

_Talking with Hinata's father was probably the scariest thing he ever did. The man was creepy, to say the least. Terrifying would be a more appropriate term. But, after some very tense minutes of conversation, he finally got what he wanted. The permission to "court" the heiress of the Hyuga Clan._

_He almost melted at her happy face, when she saw that there was no problem with their relationship progressing. Her smile was so precious, so beautiful. He couldn't resist. He didn't resist._

_Without second thought, he asked her to marry him._

_And she said yes._

XxxX

Sasuke hated the fact that they were apart. As the waited at the door of Kiba's home, he wondered if he could have done something to prevent this from happening. He already knew the answer.

He should have given her what she wanted. A loving, warm family. Not that they didn't have it. They did. But Sasuke also wanted the previous splendor of the Uchiha Clan. And every time he talked about that, he saw Hinata grow angrier, and a little sadder.

It was his fault.

Not seeing what she needed. Not giving her what she wanted. He wondered if he ever was a good husband. Maybe he wasn't. He didn't even know if Hinata wanted a big family. He knew he did. And a couple of kids were not enough to achieve his goal. They needed more. He needed more. Maybe this was part of the problem. He asked too much. He needed to much.

And he wasn't giving anything back.

XxxX

_A strange sound had awoken him. He looked at his side and didn't find his beautiful wife next to him. The bathroom light was on, so she must be there._

_He rolled back t sleep._

_Next night, the same thing happened._

_A little after dinner, Hinata started to feel… off; and soon after that, she was in the bathroom, emptying her stomach. _

"_Are you all right?," he asked, "I'm taking you to the hospital when you get out."_

_A few minutes later, a very pale Hinata exited the bathroom, looking awful._

_XxX_

"_How long have you been feeling like this?" Sakura asked Hinata, with a business like tone._

"_About a week.", she answered meekly._

"_And you didn't notice?" Sakura glared at him."How can you not noticed when your wife is sick?"_

"_She didn't tell me anything! How should I know it?"_

"_You should know that she wouldn't tell you. She is your wife, Sasuke. Don't you know her?"_

_He knew. He knew her. And Sakura was right. She wouldn't tell him she was sick. She wouldn't like to worry him. That's the way she was._

_Sakura examined Hinata carefully, making sure he was doing it thoroughly. After a few moments, she came up with a diagnostic._

"_Congratulations. Hinata, you're pregnant."_

_And Hinata, of course, promptly fainted._

_Sakura left the room, still glaring at him, and as he looked at his wife, a bad feeling washed over him. Yes he was happy, but he also felt guilty. His wife had been feeling ill for a week, and he didn't even notice. Last night then, when she was in the bathroom, she was surely feeling very sick, and what had he done?_

_He went back to sleep._

_Could he take care of her? Could he be responsible for a family? Could he lead a clan?_

_Apparently, he couldn't._

_He touched her face, and put a hand on her still flat stomach. _

_He'd do better now._

_He'd take good care of his wife, and his family._

_He'd be sure that they were all happy._

_He would not fail._

_XxxX_

He failed.

Kiba opened the door, holding eight-month Megumi. She was sleeping peacefully in his arms, something that had never happened with him. He could hear the twins playing somewhere inside the house, their happy giggles echoing through the place.

"Guys," Hikari called, Dad' here. Let's train!"

The two four year old ran excitedly to him, hugging his legs.

"Dad! Dad! Dad!Dad!Dad! Dad! Dad!" they chorused, happy to see their father after a couple of days. They always did that after he spent some days on a mission. Sasuke never gave so much importance to it, taking it for granted. Now he could barely hold the tears.

"Is she here?" he asked Kiba.

"Nah. She went out with her sister."

"I'll bring them back in about two hours."

XxxX

_She was in labor since sunset._

_Sasuke was scared, because she was in so much pain. _

_There wasn't much he could do now, but he tried anyway._

_He held her hand. He whispered assuring words in her ear. He gave her water when she was thirsty. He called the nurse when she was in pain._

_The baby was ready to go, they said, but Hinata wasn't. If things didn't change, then they'd have to do a c-section. _

_Turned out it wasn't necessary. After twelve long, long hours, his baby girl was born, together with the firsts rays of sunlight. His light. Hikari._

_That was the happiest day of his life, the day Hinata gave him a family again. _

XxxX

Sasuke observed as his kids ran around each other. The "training" consisted of a modified version of the bell test. The first to get the bell from the others won. Very simple. Very fun.

Sometimes, he and Hinata played with them, but after Megumi was born, it was just him and the kids. The twins particularly enjoyed this game. It was good to spend time with them.

They were identical, except for the eyes; while Neji had Byakugan on the right eye, Itachi had his on the left. The other eye they had Sharingan, but had yet to be activated.

He missed them, so much. They made the house feel alive, feel like a home.

XxxX

"_I'm having twins!"_

_Sasuke spat his tea all over the table. Hinata had just arrived from her appointment with Sakura. He had a broken leg, and a two-year-old Hikari to watch, so he couldn't go. _

"_What?"_

"_I'm having twins!" She smiled and started digging into her bag. She produced some paper from it. "Look! This is Baby One," she pointed to a pea sized dot, then to the other "and this is Baby Two. Two babies!"_

_Sasuke felt dizzy. He was so happy Hinata was pregnant again, but this? This was totally unexpected. Two more kids. Two more Uchihas! They soon would be a big clan again._

_The babies were born three weeks early, but they were healthy, and strong. They were named after their uncles, the best brothers one would ever want. _

XxxX

The kids asked Hinata to "sleep with Dad, please, Mama" and Hinata, of course, let them. The three slept in now Sasuke's bed, hugging whatever part of their father they could.

Only one week ago, Hinata was in that bed, too.

xXx

The first time they talked about "rebuilding the Uchiha Clan", was when they got engaged. Hinata had said that she would love to have a family with him.

Then, every time he brought the subject, she would give him the same answer. In the beginning, it was accompanied by blushes and smiles. Then, with time, it came with a sadder, distant look, and a smile that never reached her eyes.

If only he had noticed.

If he had noticed how his obsession bothered Hinata, he'd never bring that up. If he had noticed, he'd have done things differently. If he had noticed, Hinata would still be at home, sleeping by his side.

He understood her.

He knew he was wrong.

He knew he needed to change, to do something to get her back.

XxxX

_Between Hikari and the twins, they had barely time to a bedroom life. So, in their fifth anniversary, Sasuke planned a second honeymoon, so they could enjoy themselves, and take a vacation from the kids._

_They went to an island on the Land of Waves. It was the perfect tropical paradise, and she was so happy she was shining._

_They swam in crystal-like waters and walked the white sand. Kissed under the most beautiful tree; he gave her the most exotic flowers._

_And every night, they made love under the moon._

_It was the happiest Sasuke had ever been._

_xXx_

_Megumi arrived nine months after that._

_Sasuke was so happy, it was just like everything he ever dreamed happened to him: he had a beautiful family, an amazing wife that he loved beyond words and he was on the right path to restore his clan._

_He thought things could never go wrong..._

_And then, it went._

XxxX

"We have a mission," Hinata said, as she deposited Megumi in her crib.

"When will you be back?" He asked, already getting her bag and coat.

"In a week. It's just a rescue, like we used to do."

"Okay." He looked at her, she was more beautiful than he could remember. How was that possible?

"Sasuke... I...When I come back...", she started, suddenly very nervous.

In Sasuke's heart, a small flame of hope lit itself up.

"Nevermind."

And she blew it away. She turned to leave, but he pulled her back to him, hugging her tightly.

"Please, be careful," he said to her hair, "I love you."

And then he let her go.

xXx

He had a really bad feeling. He knew something was wrong. He just knew.

Ten days had passed.

She was not back.

Naruto had sent a rescue team after them. But it was taking too long. He would go, but the kids were missing Hinata terribly, and he didn't want to be away from them.

When the ANBU appeared at his door, on the eleventh day, he knew something was really wrong.

"Sasuke." Naruto greeted, at the hospital's door. If the Hokage had left his place to come to him, something was very, very wrong.

"How bad is it?"

"Very." Naruto informed him. "Sakura-chan is doing her best and Tsunade-baa-chan just arrived to help."

"What happened?" He demanded, barely containing himself.

"They were ambushed. The client was a very important political figure. Where are the kids?"

"With their aunt."

Then Sakura appeared at the hallway, and waved them to her.

"We did all we could do, Sasuke. She's pretty bad."

"Where is she? Can I see her?"

The medic nodded, leading him to an intensive care room. Hinata had an oxygen tub on her nose, and her arms, neck and legs were covered by bandages.

He sat by her side and gently held her hand.

"Kiba and Shino are as bad as her." Naruto told him, breaking the silent. "Akamaru managed to escape and found the rescue team. If it weren't for that..."

The blond Hokage didn't finish the sentence, but Sasuke knew how it would end.

He gave Hinata's hand a gentle squeeze.

All he could do was hope.

XxxX

_Their wedding was set on the first spring afternoon._

_He wanted everything to be perfect, magic. _

_He wanted everything to be just like _her_._

_Hinata made his world so complete. She was like a dream come true._

_Just like this day._

_They were at the beautiful Hyuga gardens, and all of their friends were present. They were all anxious, waiting for the bride._

_The priest, Naruto and Sasuke waited by the altar, and just like a nymph, she appeared._

_She was wearing a vaporous white dress, very simple and modest, but also very graceful and elegant, just like her. The beautiful indigo tresses were adorned by a crown of white flowers. She wore no veil, but carried a simple snowdrop bouquet._

_She was perfect._

_On that day, he vowed to honor and protect the woman he loved more than his own life._

_Very simple words, for they didn't need many. They knew their love didn't need flowery poems and declarations. But on that day, he wanted her to know how much he loved her, and how important she was to him._

_So, on their wedding night, he told her just that._

_Hinata, moved by his words, gave him her own votes that night._

"_I'll love you forever, Sasuke; you're the only one in my heart."_

_XxxX_

She woke up a few hours after that.

He was so relieved to see her eyes open again. Even if he knew that she was in a very bad condition, even if she still needed a lot of care, he was relieved that he could look in her eyes again.

"Hinata, my love, are you all right?"

She nodded. Her face contorted in pain, so he pressed the button to call in a nurse.

"I'm so happy you woke up. I'm so glad." He started, his voice thick with emotion. "I need to tell you so many things."

He could see her eyes were bright with tears. He wondered if she was fine. He hoped Sakura could check on her. He needed to know that she would be fine.

"Are you in pain? A nurse will be here soon." He told her, running his hand through her hair.

"I…I'm fine." She answered, a tear running on her face. "Sasuke… I'm sorry."

"No… no… don't say that. You don't have to be sorry for anything."

"But I left… and it was because I was selfish…", she spoke with some difficulty, he noticed, but he knew how much she hated when he interrupted, her. So he settled for caressing her face while she talked.

"I'm so sorry Sasuke… before I left, I suspected I was pregnant again… but I just wanted to leave… so I didn't tell anyone."Sasuke's eyes went wide at this. Was that what she tried to tell him before she left? "I felt so bad, and ill… and because of that… we failed."

She cried, feeling guilty. She looked so miserable, he needed to comfort her.

"No… it wasn't your fault." He tried to assure her.

"I lost it. I'm so sorry Sasuke… please, forgive me…"

"Shhhhh…. There's nothing to forgive. It was not your fault." He kissed her forehead, then her lips. "It's alright. Everything is going to be fine soon, you'll see."

Sakura finally appeared, bringing with her a crying Hikari. The medic started to check the machines and then checked on Hinata's pulse.

"She wanted to see her mother," the woman said, "The twins are very worried too."

"Come, here, Hikari." Hinata called. The girl walked fast to her mother's other side, taking Hinata's hand and giving it a kiss and a squeeze. "You know momma loves you, right? I do. I love you. And the twins too. And Megumi. Never forget this."

"I love you too, momma." Their daughter cried.

"Sasuke…" he scooted closer to her, curving himself over her small frame. Her voice sounded so frail… "I'll love you forever… you're the only one in my heart."

"I love you, Hinata… I love you." He cried back.

Hinata smiled at him, her eyes again warm and gentle. He could see in them all the love she felt for him, and their family.

He saw her eyes close, slowly, as if saying goodbye.

And then Hikari cries and the continuous sound of a heart monitor were the only sounds in the room.

She was… gone.

* * *

OMG guys I'm so sorry I killed Hinata!

But worry not, fellas, this story will continue.

Rewiew please?


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